Another year goes by

Every year, on New Year's Eve, our family has a tradition to watch the previous year's library of family home videos. We laugh and sometimes cry at the images, longing to relive some certain moments, and feel a poignancy that can only be awakened by a stroll down memory lane. When I look back at those babies of mine, one year ago, I wonder where did they go? The changes in their behaviors and faces were so subtle. Too subtle to be noticed. I am deeply saddened by how much I miss my little babies from one, two, or three years ago. But what is the solution? More videos, of more moments? More photographs? More journaling? I believe that by just being thankful for every moment that I am blessed to be their mommy is a start. By being grateful just to know them another day. Sometimes when my ungrateful heart takes hold of my mind, and I forget that this is only a season, a short one, in my life, I even wish for a time of the future to be here already. By being glad to snuggle and kiss them today, because I will never get those moments back from last year, and by resolving to live every moment today to the fullest, I can live without any regrets. I can also be encouraged by the fact that who my children are becoming is nothing short of spectacular and beautiful. And that sure helps to let go of who they used to be. Just this week Echo said "I love you Mommy" for the first time, and completely unsolicited. This was amazing for two reasons. I normally have to ask him over and over if he does love me, and he normally doesn't even give me an answer at all! And secondly, he has never called me mommy, or even mom before! He called me "nina" from the very start, and nothing else. It was a moment that literally took my breath away! And Lock says "no" for EVERYTHING, including, and especially for, yes! His favorite phrase is "Stop it!!" with a hand out for emphasis. And yesterday Blaze said that she smelled something but she just "can't put a fingernail on it". And she said this sweet statement through her adorable and giant grown up teeth! And today, Shade came toddling halfway down the stairs with Lock in her arms. She had rescued him from her crib, when he woke up crying. Don't ask me how she wrestled him out of there... I have NO IDEA!! These moments are what will put a smile on my face tonight when I rest my head on my pillow, and wonder... "What will tomorrow bring me anyway?"....