Date With Daddy

This year Blaze's birthday was really hard. We had just moved, and when the time came to plan her party, there wasn't anyone to invite over to have a party. Some neighbor kids came over for a half hour after dinner to eat a cupcake was all. I think the whole ordeal was much harder on me than on her. And I think that if I had kept my mouth quiet about it she wouldn't have noticed a thing.

Since I wanted her to have a special day, the day before her birthday I took her shopping for a special outfit, and let her accessorize, and buy shoes to match. This was her "date with daddy" outfit. Except that she wore the dress for a week straight. I am not exaggerating!!

The afternoon of Blaze's birthday, I took her, Shade, and Echo to go see "Up", which, by the way, is the best animated film I have ever seen! Love love loved it!! I think I got all weepy about five times. But since I'm always down for a good cry, I didn't mind. We didn't get to see the film in 3D, which probably would have been cool. But I was glad that we got to see it on the big screen! I give it two thumbs up! Echo actually quite well at the movies. He didn't even ask to go to the bathroom once, and he didn't go in his pants either! Which is good, since he doesn't wear a diaper or even a pull up! He kept talking really loud to me whenever he liked what was on the screen (every 30 seconds or so), and I kept giggling and shushing him. He was just so excited! It was, after all, his very first movie. (That he didn't sleep through).

Later that day, Blaze redolled herself (probably not a word). And John took her to P.F. Chang's for dinner. I wasn't there and he only took one picture with his phone. (Looks like we know who the photographer is in this family!) But she was absolutely glowing when she got home. Dates with daddy should become a regular thing. A daughter's relationship to her dad is so vital to her purity and her sexuality. Girl's with poor or no relationship's with their father quite often become promiscuous. Some statistics will say that girls/women with eating disorders attribute their self image to their dads. I doubt there is a porn star or erotic dancer out there with a strong and healthy relationship with their father. I don't care what they claim! And since we are going to be setting our standards much higher than adult film and promiscuity, we are going to be nurturing this oh so important dynamic from the get go.





I have been dismissed as crazy when I talk about this with some of my friends, but we are even going to discourage our girls and sons to date at all. We are going to encourage them to include us in all of their opposite sex relations. And we are going to pray for a great outcome. I want my kids to save even their first kiss for their wedding day. Can you imagine??? There is a book called "The Princess and the Kiss" by Jennie Bishop. (And there is one she wrote for your little prince as well, but I don't know the title yet). These are good books to get the conversation started. Plant the seed. I understand that at some point my kids are going to be making all of their own decisions, but does that mean that I shouldn't teach them to reach for the highest standards? And I will always love and accept them no matter what they ultimately choose. Hopefully they will always feel that.

I started reading this other book recommended by Focus on the Family called "A Chicken's guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I haven't gotten far, but I really liked the beginning. The author recommends that you start having open dialogue starting with the neck up.... which is to say acne, greasy hair, bad breath, kissing etc. And be compassionate about these changes... no making fun!! Dr. Leman also advises to never lie to your kids and get the conversation started early. Like, don't show up one day when they are 13 and give them a 15 minute "birds and the bees" conversation. How awkward! No, they advise answering their questions truthfully and clinically as early as they ask them. If they are ready to start asking, they are probably ready enough to start getting some answers. If you don't tell them someone else will. Maybe not that day, or even that year. But don't you want to be the one? Not very long (within days!!) after I picked up this book Blaze straight up asked me "mom what is sex". I layed there (we were suntanning.... Arizona y'all!!) quiet for a second, and then I told her. "Well Blaze, sex is where a man puts his...." (you finish the sentence) Don't stress, I included marriage in their as well. Well, Blaze got up and walked over to the porch swing without saying a word. She started reading her book for a few minutes, looked up at me and yelled "That.... isss .....RIDICULOUS!!" I am hoping her opinion of that doesn't change for a long... long time...

For more information on courting (dating from another century) a good book to have is "I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships And Romance Joshua Harris. Don't knock it until you've had a good look at the teenagers around you today. And I don't really see things getting better... do you?