Another year goes by

Every year, on New Year's Eve, our family has a tradition to watch the previous year's library of family home videos. We laugh and sometimes cry at the images, longing to relive some certain moments, and feel a poignancy that can only be awakened by a stroll down memory lane. When I look back at those babies of mine, one year ago, I wonder where did they go? The changes in their behaviors and faces were so subtle. Too subtle to be noticed. I am deeply saddened by how much I miss my little babies from one, two, or three years ago. But what is the solution? More videos, of more moments? More photographs? More journaling? I believe that by just being thankful for every moment that I am blessed to be their mommy is a start. By being grateful just to know them another day. Sometimes when my ungrateful heart takes hold of my mind, and I forget that this is only a season, a short one, in my life, I even wish for a time of the future to be here already. By being glad to snuggle and kiss them today, because I will never get those moments back from last year, and by resolving to live every moment today to the fullest, I can live without any regrets. I can also be encouraged by the fact that who my children are becoming is nothing short of spectacular and beautiful. And that sure helps to let go of who they used to be. Just this week Echo said "I love you Mommy" for the first time, and completely unsolicited. This was amazing for two reasons. I normally have to ask him over and over if he does love me, and he normally doesn't even give me an answer at all! And secondly, he has never called me mommy, or even mom before! He called me "nina" from the very start, and nothing else. It was a moment that literally took my breath away! And Lock says "no" for EVERYTHING, including, and especially for, yes! His favorite phrase is "Stop it!!" with a hand out for emphasis. And yesterday Blaze said that she smelled something but she just "can't put a fingernail on it". And she said this sweet statement through her adorable and giant grown up teeth! And today, Shade came toddling halfway down the stairs with Lock in her arms. She had rescued him from her crib, when he woke up crying. Don't ask me how she wrestled him out of there... I have NO IDEA!! These moments are what will put a smile on my face tonight when I rest my head on my pillow, and wonder... "What will tomorrow bring me anyway?"....

My new friend

At the risk of sounding like a stalker, I need to tell you that I have made a very special friend. She is a friend sent directly from heaven. She is funny, beautiful, stylish, (yes you are!), charismatic, creative, godly, intelligent, honest, kind, generous, transparent, mothering, and just plain wonderful!


We both just moved to Arizona, we both have four children, we both love the Lord, we are almost exactly the same age, we both homeschool, we both have husbands that work mostly from home, we both blog (she introduced me to it actually), and we are both searching for a church home. (The list goes on actually). And eventually we will both join the zumba cult.... (you know you want to). Of course, she does listen to country music....

She has lessened the pain in my homesick heart, and has made this new place so much more my home. As iron sharpens iron, let us be true and real friends to one another. Let our conversations be pleasing to Him. Let our lives be transparent before one another, confessing our sins and also our praises to each other. Thank you God for my new dear friend Jeanna.... Amen!

Moxie Girls

Don't you hate Bratz?? Well, I do. O.K..... I strongly dislike them. Those are the craziest looking dolls ever!! And why is anyone so into them? To me they look like drag queens or street walkers. Should I tell you how I really feel? LOL!!

I guess I just don't ever want my girls to think that they need to show off their goods in order to be appreciated. As women we need to remember that our value is from somewhere else. (And taught that at a very young age). I also don't want them to think that they need to look a certain way in order to be considered beautiful. Especially when that look can really only be achieved through multiple surgeries!

So the good news is there is a decent alternative to those Bratz dolls! And they are called "Moxie Girls". We found Moxie dolls at Target. They look a little like the Bratz, with less botox, lip injections and almost no make up on. Most of them are dressed modestly, and ALL of them are dressed more modestly than the Bratz!

The girls are happy.... and so is their mommy!

My Muse

With God as my Muse, I will mold like clay
my child's heart to love Jesus.



I will paint the picture
of a family that serves the Lord.



I will dance with grace
a marriage of sacrificial love.



I will write the prose
of a life of Kingdom living.


My soul will sing
the joy of my salvation.



I will draw
the end and die to gain....
everything

With God as my Muse.

God in a box

Recently while visiting a new church I was introduced to the latest and greatest "method" of evangelizing, called "Praying for You". Sounds benign and even great... doesn't it? But something didn't sit right inside of me. I kept thinking how much we are always trying to fit God, and His Kingdom into a nice little package. All clean and self explanatory... wrapped up in a bow even! But that isn't the God I know. God's ways are above ours.... His thoughts are Higher than ours. We can't do 3 steps to a better new improved Christian living, and call it good. God isn't into 5, 7, or even 12 step programs.... He is into a lifetime of transformation, living IN His Spirit, renewing your mind by His Word. Of course, there is good in those programs, systems, and steps. Because God can use anything and anyone to do His will. But I still squirm in my seat everytime they start to surface in the body. We are all different. We all have different gifts. We all have God's Holy Spirit to guide us. He will give us the right words to say, and the right moment to say them. And He will change us to a better wife and mom. But these things are meant to take time.... a lifetime. I think it is because He likes to spend time with us. We are His children! Just like we like our children to talk to us, love us, spend time with us, and listen to our Words, He feels the same. There is just something about having to depend on the Holy Spirit at any given time, that just feels real! I'm tired of the packaged God they are trying to serve me at so many churches. Don't get me wrong, I love to hear how God is working in other's lives, or what God's Word did to transform them. But God is a personal God, and our stories are all different. Isn't that part of the miracle?

The Heart Butt Connection.....

This morning I got a text from John asking me how it was going. My response was basically a list of how many of our kids have needed spankings! Needless to say, it was a trying morning. But thankfully, doing the hard thing has proven to be the right thing as well. My children were testing the boundaries, and I let them know exactly where I stood. They are all behaving nicely and feeling secure and loved. Now I can expect my children to hear my voice before it becomes loud and irritable. There is peace in this house.

In my conversations with other parents, I have often felt the passion in me rising anytime the subject of spanking came up. I can say, with complete transparency, that if I hadn't been given the proper tools to discipline my kids, I myself would have become abusive. The victim.... becoming the victimizer. I am so completely humbled by the mystery and beauty and wisdom of God's Word. In Proverbs alone God strongly directs all parents to spank a child 26 times. I don't know about you, but anytime God says something that many times, it must be important to look at and take seriously. Would God tell us plainly to do something that is wrong, or won't work?

As a child, I was mistreated. As a parent, I was scared. I wanted to be a good mom. I didn't want to ever damage my child and I also didn't want to be overly permissive.... which would also be damaging to my child. I am so thankful to God, for, by Divine Appointment, He directed me to a ministry called "Hearts at Home". And I am so thankful to God for the transparency, wisdom, and boldness of the women on the "discipline panel" who answered our anonymous questions, and gave us a huge dose of godly wisdom on parenting. They were the starting point on the journey of parenting that I badly needed. Pray for women in your life with children in their teens or later that have obviously succeeded at parenting them. Women who were obedient to God's Word, and are reaping the benefits.

Everything I know about the mystery of spanking is due to the books that I've read and the women that God put in my life. He put some amazing friends in my life that were living the chapters right before my eyes. Thank you God for Heather Holland, Jenni Lenc, Kalen Bringle and Kathy Cates especially. No three women could be a better example to me of godly discipine and love to their children than these!! I am overwhelmed with how much they helped me along.... thanks so much guys!

The books that were the most helpful to me in making choices about my parenting techniques and style were "Don't Make Me Count to Three" by Ginger Plowman, "Sacred Parenting" by Gary Smally and "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. (I also got some good nuggets from "To Train Up a Child" by Michael Pearl, but that book needs to be read with caution). I love sharing things that I learn with others and passing on parenting advice that has proven to be useful and important in my journey as a mom. So here I blog.... a condensed version for a healthy and effective swat on the behind.

I am absolutely aware that there are abusive ways to spank your child. And there are appropriate and loving ways to do it. I was taught several excellent ways to be sure that this form of discipline remained effective, loving, intimate, and right. First, and absolutely foremost, there cannot be any emotion attached to the spanking besides love!! If you are angry, and will get any satisfaction out of spanking your child ("That's it!!! Now you're gonna GET IT!!) then it is not an appropriate time to give them one. The key is to make a choice of whether or not you're going to be a parent that spanks, decide what offenses will result in one, and then just do it.

Next, decide what offenses are deserving of a spanking. I have decided that I wasn't concerned with the behaviors of my children, so much as I was their heart. And I also decided that spanking won't work if they are used every time your child is just acting silly and childish.... or showing immaturity and irresponsibility. For those times I would use a different method that helps with behavior modification, like our tally system, or taking things that they like away. So, in other words, choose your battles.... in advanced! I also ask the Holy Spirit to direct me, to tug on my heart, when a spanking was necessary. Who better than God Himself knows your child? NO ONE!! And then be ready to live out what you have decided. If you have no plan, the situations you find yourself in, will just escalate ("I said don't do that..... Johnny stop it!!.... STOP ITTT!!!) And then the teachable moment is lost, because you are irritated and even angry.

I made a rule with my children and myself that if I felt they were being disrespectful, defiant, or unsafe, they would get a spanking. An example of direspect would be rude faces, sticking out their tongue, hands on their hips, stomping their little feet, turning their back, and anything that they say that is short of respect and honor to me or their dad. (Notice how there are ways to be disrespectful with body language alone??) A three year old that sticks out their tongue at you, without consequence, could very easily become a 16 year old that gives you the finger!! When they are in their younger years, excessive whining and temper tantrums are considered disrespectful in our house as well.

Defiance is a refusal to obey, (only ask them ONCE!!! then sit there quietly and wait for it). I expect them to respond very shortly after I ask something of them. I ask them in a nice voice. I don't want them to ignore me until they hear in my voice that I'm about to crack up. I want them to hear my sweet voice, so that is the one I can use all the time. By the way, I am far from perfect. And these are my ideals. When I end up yelling or getting really irritated I tell my kids I'm sorry and ask them to forgive me. And they are very gracious and forgiving.

Disobedience is also when they don't do something ALL the way. Partial obedience, isn't obedience at all. Sometimes little ones need some more encouraging, and some reminding. But as they get older I expect total obedience... ie, the playroom needs to be all the way clean, not just partway clean.

And finally, if they obey, but they do it with a poor attitude. That is showing rebellion in their heart. Which is total rebellion to me. When I remind them of what obedience is I say "Please do it, right away, all the way and with a happy heart". Of course, there are times when I show them grace.... lots of times. God, the perfect Father does the same for us as parents. He is the model that we should follow. So, once again, pray! pray! pray! Ask for that wisdom from God, He will always give it to you.

Another point I wanted to include is, every child is different. Not only in different families, but within the same family. Be sensitive to that. Know your child. Know their heart. Find their gifts and their desires. Be supportive. Love on them the way they need to be loved. (People need to be shown love in different ways. Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman) In Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." the word "way" is originated from an archery term that means to bend, as in an arrow. You want to bend that arrow to be on it's path, but you don't want to break it. Find the way your child needs to be bent. Find the ways your child is already bent. Every child is bent differently. Like an arrow, aim them in the direction they are meant to be in, bend them just so, and they will get there. God's Word says so.

So, after you have established when you feel it's appropriate to spank your child, be sure to practice the how. Lashing out at unexpected times, while screaming and chasing after them is not a picture of a loving adminstering of a spanking. The whole thing needs to be "an event" in order for it to be effective. It needs to be controlled. It needs to be expected and not a surprise. Tell them how many swats to expect, and then count them out loud. Three is enough in my opinion. It should sting like crazy, but NEVER leave a mark. Some people use a "rod" of some sort, and some use their hand. It is a personal preference, and should be prayed about.

We have a spanking place. That way it is never a surprise, to either of us! Once we find ourselves in the laundry room, I have a conversation (or just one sentence, depending on the age and maturity of the child). I try to use the same words God does, because no one can say it better! "You were disrespectful to mommy when you.... and that is not honoring your mother" or "You need to obey mommy... and it was disobedient when you...." When I have explained their offense, I give them their three swats. If your child wears a diaper you should move their diaper. If you feel uncomfortable with spanking a bare bottom, put a wash cloth over it. And afterwards, hug them until they are done crying. When they are calm enough to hear your voice, pray with them. Pray as the Spirit leads you. God knows what words they need to hear.

Some days my wildest child will need several spankings. And sometimes my kids will go weeks and weeks without one. When they get a spanking, they don't feel offended, they feel loved. They trust my word, because I follow through. They have boundaries and feel safe by them. They know the difference when I have failed to live by my convictions and have "flown off the handle". They prefer a calm spanking over a crazed and yelling mommy anyday. This isn't meant to be a way to intimidate a child into listening. It is mysteriously, like my blog title states, connected to their heart.

If you have never even considered spanking an option, and are now thinking of giving it a try, be sure to have a conversation with your child/ren about what to expect from you and what you expect from them. Then pick one or two behaviors that you feel has gotten way out of hand, and concentrate on those one or two. Once you see improvement (consistency is KEY!!!) than tell them about the other behaviors that will now result in a proper swat.

I hope these words have been helpful to someone somewhere with the questions I found myself having all those years ago. Thank You Lord, for You are my strength in my many weaknesses. Thank You Lord for Your Holy Spirit to guide me. Thank You Lord for the wisdom in Your Word. Thank You Lord for the promises you will keep. I offer up my beautiful children to You, for they are not really mine. Please help me to be sensitive to the way each one is bent, and please help them to soar to heights and distances in spite of any mistakes I might make along the way. In the precious Name of Jesus is my prayer. Amen.

A Story of Redemption

Mikvah

A storm eats

away at the ground,

the foolish one, stands on the sand.

I am

the foolish one.

The rain above, the river below,

I stare into the cold

darkness of the water.

Turmoil, danger, blackness, fear, my worst

nightmare, draws

me in.

Over the roaring, I hear You

whisper my name,

deep calls to deep.

Promising to meet me,

there, in the darkest, coldest

shadows.

I have to let

go.

Eyes closed, face lifted, mouth screaming

I jump.

I am pierced

with knives of cold water,

tossed about, I fight, I struggle,

I sink.

Surrendering with lifted

hands and heart,

a living sacrifice.

I am dying.

I open my mouth

to drink, it tastes of life.

The water caresses

me. Carried away, still

and waiting. Listening

to Your voice.

There is still pain,

Bruising

rocks, sometimes even tearing.

But You don't leave

me,

You are with me.

You have been here before,

You know

The Way.

I reach a quiet

place, able to rise.

I rest beside the still

water, shivering.

I find The Rock

to stand

upon, my face lifted, warmed

by the Sun.

My soul sings

a new song, a song

I never knew before.

I am free.
My life

surrendered, washed

clean,

made new.

Baptisto.

by chaundra

I wrote this poem during a very difficult time I recently had, facing some terrible issues of abuse that I endured as a little child.







To redeem is to trade something with litle or no value for something very valuable. He has redeemed me. God is so good.







Also, Mikvah is the ceremonial bath that a Jewish girl/woman would take before her wedding. It is the foreshadowing of the baptism in the New Testament. And baptisto is the greek word for baptism.

The Joy of Waiting

Recently I came up with a "tally system" to help eliminate some of my constant reminding (nagging) of the kids to complete their responsibilities. Unbelievably, I was having to tell them to dress themselves, brush their teeth, and EVEN flush the toilet!! I knew I was going to have to motivate these kids to start taking their hygiene and chores into their own hands... and fast. Or I was basically becoming a screaming machine around here! So, I put up a white board and started explaining to them the ways in which they could earn or lose tally points. It has been extremely effective!

As I was coming up with the rules to this tally system, I realized that this was a moment that I could teach my kids about delayed gratification. So without confusing them too much I put a new twist in the game. They could earn a small prize with a meager amount of tallys... a better prize with a little more.... and a wonderful prize with a large amount. At first Shade wanted to redeem her tallys for the dollar aisle at Target (the prize for 15 tallys). But when I said "ok..." and started to erase her tallys, she said "Wait!". She didn't understand that she was going to have to start all over.... and the delaying began! She had her eye on the prize!!

For me, one of the hardest parts in life is waiting. However, as I thought about what life would be like if I didn't have something that I was looking forward to, I realized that it would just be a series of moments passing me by. How boring!

We live in a world where all we do is try to eliminate the waiting. It is up to us to teach our children the joy in it! The art of delaying gratification. If we don't teach them to wait for small every day rewards, how do we expect them to want to wait for things like sex inside the bounds of marriage? If they never learn the feeling of a triumph in a victory that followed a short period of waiting, they will never understand the reason for it. If they don't experience the richness that waiting brings to their lives, they will spend their whole life trying to please themselves NOW... TODAY! When ultimately they will always be longing. And no matter what they fill their lives with, they will spend their lives in a state of incompletion. Because we are all waiting And what we are waiting for is an entirely different place, because this isn't our home.

Last night Shade shared with me her fears of dying . With tears in her voice she asked me, "Mom does it go in slow motion to get old?" And when I didn't understand what she was getting at she posed a new question, to help the grown up get it, "Mom am I going to die?" It was a hard question for me, for this is one of my struggles. I am also afraid to die. Strange for a believer, I know. But I know that God will grow this part of my faith in time. So I told her about heaven, and our heavenly bodies. And she said "Mom, will you read the Bible to me?" She had never before ASKED me to read God's Word to her, and my heart just swelled with joy. I was so exhausted and ready to kiss her goodnight, but I was not going to pass up this opportunity. So I went to the online search and typed in body and found the verses in 1 Corinthians 15 that I was looking for, our glorious Resurrection Bodies. I switched the translation to The Message. Usually I like to read the kids that version, but this time it was for me! These verses are incredibly difficult to understand!

The analogy was awe inspiring.... awesome.... incredible.... amazing!! Our dead bodies are like a seed verses a plant. If you look at a tomato seed it doesn't resemble a tomato at all. But if you plant it in the ground, a glorious tomato plant comes out of it. Whoa.... and just think of an acorn becoming an oak tree!! Just another way that His creation is screaming out His name. (I love it!!) And the Bible goes on to say that each heavenly body will be different, as is the birds in the air, the creatures of the sea, the sun, moon, and stars!! What an adventure this life and ultimately our death and immortality truely is!!

As I long for Your Kingdom to come, I praise You Lord Jesus, that life is anything but a series of moments passing us by..... I praise You Lord for the adventure... I Praise You Lord for the wait....

Date With Daddy

This year Blaze's birthday was really hard. We had just moved, and when the time came to plan her party, there wasn't anyone to invite over to have a party. Some neighbor kids came over for a half hour after dinner to eat a cupcake was all. I think the whole ordeal was much harder on me than on her. And I think that if I had kept my mouth quiet about it she wouldn't have noticed a thing.

Since I wanted her to have a special day, the day before her birthday I took her shopping for a special outfit, and let her accessorize, and buy shoes to match. This was her "date with daddy" outfit. Except that she wore the dress for a week straight. I am not exaggerating!!

The afternoon of Blaze's birthday, I took her, Shade, and Echo to go see "Up", which, by the way, is the best animated film I have ever seen! Love love loved it!! I think I got all weepy about five times. But since I'm always down for a good cry, I didn't mind. We didn't get to see the film in 3D, which probably would have been cool. But I was glad that we got to see it on the big screen! I give it two thumbs up! Echo actually quite well at the movies. He didn't even ask to go to the bathroom once, and he didn't go in his pants either! Which is good, since he doesn't wear a diaper or even a pull up! He kept talking really loud to me whenever he liked what was on the screen (every 30 seconds or so), and I kept giggling and shushing him. He was just so excited! It was, after all, his very first movie. (That he didn't sleep through).

Later that day, Blaze redolled herself (probably not a word). And John took her to P.F. Chang's for dinner. I wasn't there and he only took one picture with his phone. (Looks like we know who the photographer is in this family!) But she was absolutely glowing when she got home. Dates with daddy should become a regular thing. A daughter's relationship to her dad is so vital to her purity and her sexuality. Girl's with poor or no relationship's with their father quite often become promiscuous. Some statistics will say that girls/women with eating disorders attribute their self image to their dads. I doubt there is a porn star or erotic dancer out there with a strong and healthy relationship with their father. I don't care what they claim! And since we are going to be setting our standards much higher than adult film and promiscuity, we are going to be nurturing this oh so important dynamic from the get go.





I have been dismissed as crazy when I talk about this with some of my friends, but we are even going to discourage our girls and sons to date at all. We are going to encourage them to include us in all of their opposite sex relations. And we are going to pray for a great outcome. I want my kids to save even their first kiss for their wedding day. Can you imagine??? There is a book called "The Princess and the Kiss" by Jennie Bishop. (And there is one she wrote for your little prince as well, but I don't know the title yet). These are good books to get the conversation started. Plant the seed. I understand that at some point my kids are going to be making all of their own decisions, but does that mean that I shouldn't teach them to reach for the highest standards? And I will always love and accept them no matter what they ultimately choose. Hopefully they will always feel that.

I started reading this other book recommended by Focus on the Family called "A Chicken's guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex" by Dr. Kevin Leman. I haven't gotten far, but I really liked the beginning. The author recommends that you start having open dialogue starting with the neck up.... which is to say acne, greasy hair, bad breath, kissing etc. And be compassionate about these changes... no making fun!! Dr. Leman also advises to never lie to your kids and get the conversation started early. Like, don't show up one day when they are 13 and give them a 15 minute "birds and the bees" conversation. How awkward! No, they advise answering their questions truthfully and clinically as early as they ask them. If they are ready to start asking, they are probably ready enough to start getting some answers. If you don't tell them someone else will. Maybe not that day, or even that year. But don't you want to be the one? Not very long (within days!!) after I picked up this book Blaze straight up asked me "mom what is sex". I layed there (we were suntanning.... Arizona y'all!!) quiet for a second, and then I told her. "Well Blaze, sex is where a man puts his...." (you finish the sentence) Don't stress, I included marriage in their as well. Well, Blaze got up and walked over to the porch swing without saying a word. She started reading her book for a few minutes, looked up at me and yelled "That.... isss .....RIDICULOUS!!" I am hoping her opinion of that doesn't change for a long... long time...

For more information on courting (dating from another century) a good book to have is "I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships And Romance Joshua Harris. Don't knock it until you've had a good look at the teenagers around you today. And I don't really see things getting better... do you?

No Church to Call Home

I think the hardest thing so far about moving away has been looking for a new church. To put it plainly, it really sucks! And it sure has brought out my critical spirit: the pastor wasn't sincere enough, the worship was corny, if I wanted to watch preaching on a screen I'd a stayed home, they lost my kid. (Okay that last one, I had a right to complain!!) And to top it off, poor Blaze and Shade having to be the "new kid" at church every Sunday is taking a toll on them... and me too actually. It is breaking my heart.

What is this time of wandering in the desert (literally.... we live in the desert now!) supposed to be for? I am thirsty for fellowship, longing for a church to call home. Lord, I pray that You lead us to that place of refuge, and until then that You will be my sanctuary. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be anyways? Aren't you supposed to satisfy our thirsts and longings? Aren't you the Sanctuary? The perfect Sanctuary?

I know that you are true to your promises. And you promise to give us a hope and a future. Thank you Lord for knowing everything, for caring, for being powerful enough to handle it all, and for being with us in our times of thirst. In a dry and weary land, You are my water....

But the fruit of the Spirit is love

So, God says to love our neighbor. Literally that would mean, if someone is next to you, you should love 'em! However there are more than one kinds of translations of love in God's word. Which love should we have for the human race?

Did you know that Inuit Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow and we have just one? Talk about lost in translation! Well, we also have only one word for love and yet there a several words for love in the Greek language. So I did a little word study on the word love and here is what I found. Brotherly love, or philadelphia, is just that, the love we feel for our brother and sister. Or very similar in translation and origin is philadelphos, the love we feel (or should anyways!) for our brothers and sisters in Christ.

There is only one time in the Word that the word philoteknos, the love we feel for our children, is used. It isn't surprising to me that there would be a specific word for the way we should (and usually do) feel about our children. When mine were born, I had no idea my heart could love that much or that way. There is another love translated only one time and specific to one person, philandros. This is the love reserved for our husbands. (Both of these types of love are found in Titus 2:4).

So this is brings us to agape and agapao love. They are similar, but agapao is the sort of love we are commanded to give to our neighbor.... and actually, our enemies as well. The definition of agapao love is, to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly. Did you notice that there are not only actions, but feelings involved here?? So we don't only get to "play nice", we have to "FEEL nice"! Has God MET some of these humans around here?? We are supposed to love every last one of 'em? Even the ONE? you know who I mean.... the one that did that thing (or two or three or MORE things) to you? How is this possible? Are we supposed to reach inside and "muster up" some love by our own strength? That doesn't work for me. But there is good news, and it starts with the fact that we can't do it. God is asking us to do something we can't do on our own.

God's love is higher than the heavens, and deeper than the ocean. But more than that, God is love. (1John 4:16.) That verse always blows my mind. It's supposed to. God is bigger than our minds! We can not wrap our minds around Him. His ways are Higher than ours and so are His thoughts. If God had no mystery, no unknowable greatness, He wouldn't be worthy of our total affection, praise, and wonder. But He doesn't leave us just to wonder.

The word for love that is translated in 1 John 4:16 (God is love) is the agape love. It is the love described with perfection in 1 Corinthians 13 starting in verse 4: "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails." Now go back and read that verse and put your name in it, instead of the word love. Do you live up to that standard? I know I don't! There is only One that lives up to that standard our sweet Jesus. Read it again, and this time put the name Jesus in there for love.

I know that in my every day life, I do not live out this command perfectly, and therefore, I am so grateful for the mercies and grace that are new to me every day! But I also know that when I spend time with Jesus I am changed.... people are changed by Him. The world just seems to fade away when you set your mind on Him.

You know that saying WWJD? I actually don't like that saying at all. It is so focused on our behavior. And my God is a God of relationship. He isn't a list of do's and don't's. We are to live in Him and He in us. It's a daily walk.... hand in hand... with Him. So the love He pours into us from the time spend with Him will overflow into our lives and spill onto our neighbors, and even our enemies.

So, go to Him. He is always waiting, wanting to hear from you. He longs to break down those walls you've built, heal the wounds you've suffered, and cover all your fears. Those are the barriers that keep us from loving.... It is with His love that we can love others. His love......

So You Think You Can Homeschool?

Actually, it should say "So You Think You Can't Homeschool?". I wish I could tell you how many times I've heard people say to me with amazement in their voice "You homeschool?? I could never do that! I just don't have the patience! And my kids would never learn anything from me." I find this so amusing because you can and you do homeschool. Every parent does! Who taught your kid to potty in a toilet? Who taught your kid how to put on their socks? Who taught your kid to share? (okay so you're still working on that one!) YOU DID! Every parent is a homeschooler. Some do it full time, and some do it part. This isn't an attempt to convince anyone to be a homeschooler (since we've already established the fact that you already are!). It is just a sneak peak into the life of homeschooling as me and my sweet family see it.

Most of our day consists of just being. Yup, you read that right. We are just being mom, being sister, being brother, being daughter or son, being wife or husband, being friend or neighbor, being HUMAN. The rest of our day we do some reading, writing, and 'rithmetic! (And some other electives) We have fun curriculum, using what I call "real books" to learn history, science, geography, spelling, grammar, and all the rest. The only textbooks we use are to practice handwriting and to do math. But when you use Math U See, even that can be fun!

But the real beauty of schooling at home is, this is a picture of our school. Go to any other homeschoolers house and they will do things differently. Their schedules will reflect the personalities and needs of their family members. There are people that range from unschoolers (no structured learning at all) to the most structured school imaginable, to everything in between. And even more wonderful.... you have the option to school each one of your children differently. So if you are blessed with a son that you can't get off the top of the refrigerator to show him his letters (as I am), than you can unschool him until he shows some readiness to sit quietly and learn something. Amazingly, my "jungle boy" Echo, has learned a LOT. But on his terms is all.

When you get started things seem overwhelming. But they will all fall into place. My first move was to get Cathy Duffy's "100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum". She walks you through your own Philosophy of Teaching, and your own child's Style of Learning. Then you can use the chart to find Curriculum that will work for you!

However nothing is more important than other warm bodies that are going through the same thing. Find a homeschool support group near you. They are usually very warm and inviting, have a wealth of knowledge, and know all the resources in your area to be a successful homeschooler! In our area I am a part of Desert Hills Christian Homeschoolers. So far it has proved to be a fantastic group. We just went on our first group field trip with them to the Arizona Science Center, which, surprisingly, our OMSI passes from our Oregon museum of science got us in free!!

All this to say, we love our little school at home. And their is nothing special or amazing about me at all. If I can be a full time homeschooler, anyone can, and I mean that with all sincerity. The only good that comes out of me is from my sweet Jesus! He is the only reason that I make any right moves. He turns my meager attempts at parenting into glorious and meaningful teachable moments. All of the glory goes to Him and all of my thanks as well.

Blessings to you and yours

Welcome to the World of Anderson's

What sort of a mom lets their three year old son lick his melting popsicle off of the neighbors garage floor? Who would let their kids run around naked so often that some of them don't even have tan lines where the "sun don't shine"? And who, upon discovering a baby with a bag of flour would get out a camera instead of a broom?? Well, that would be me! However I am that same mom that makes their meals from scratch, keeps them home for school, and doles out a good ol' fashioned spanking when necessary! (There is a right and a wrong way to spank a child.... stay tuned).

I am a stay at home mom of four wonderful kids (one of whom I am convinced was actually raised by a pack of wolves when i wasn't looking). We just moved away from the lush and green Pacific Northwest (and by lush and green, I mean rainy and gray 8 months out of the year) to sunny and bright Arizona (and by sunny and bright, I mean SCORCHING and .... well.... SCORCHING! I hear the rest of the year is very temperate and comfortable, and we are definitely looking forward to it).

Thankfully i haven't yet ran into any scorpions or rattlesnakes. But I have also been having a hard time making new friends, which is strange for me. I am thinking this is a time for me to grow spiritually. And a time to lean closer to my Father. Speaking of which, we still haven't found a church home either. It's hard for us, since we (john and I) have never really felt like we fit into the christian mold, and yet we certainly don't want to blend right in with the world!! However, back in Portland we had found the best church for those kinds of Jesus following types that never really "fit in", Imago Dei Community Church. What an amazing place. Check them out if you are ever in the neighborhood. You will not be disappointed. Or listen to Rick online at http://www.imagodeicommunity.com/ . Rick has this unusual ability to tell the beautiful story of God's truth with sincere love and grace. Or read the book Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. It is my personal favorite non-fiction. He is really good friends with Rick Mckinley (pastor at Imago), and goes church at Imago as well. Of course, one thing I have noticed during my search for a church, is that EVERYONE, thinks that their church is something special. And why shouldn't they.... they chose it!!

So the purpose of this blog is for me to share some fun personal stories, pass on homeschool resources/advice, share parenting tips and blunders, post recipes, laugh, and encourage others with the love of Jesus. So thanks for joining me!

Here are some recent pictures of the family at the Grand Canyon. I didn't much get a chance to enjoy the scenery. I was way too preoccupied with keeping my kids from falling off! But we got some awesome photos!

Here is sweet Blaze staring off into the abyss! She may be 8, but I still had to watch that girl like a hawk. She has been known to trip over the color in a carpet. Don't get me wrong, she moves like a gazelle. And someday, she will probably run like one, but for now, she is more like a gazelle on it's first day of life, just learning how to use those things called "legs". My beautiful Blaze!

My jungle boy, thankfully kept two feet on the ground. He may be fearless, but he isn't about to take on the grand canyon....

Shade is always looking the part for the camera. I always have a dozen good shots to choose from with her. She loves the camera, and the camera loves her!!

Sweet little Lock. He's the baby. And even though he is no longer a "baby" he will probably always be treated a little bit like one. I know this is probably not a very good idea. But how can you help it when he is the last one?? He sure is adorable and cuddly!

Blessings to you and yours :)