Walking around in Darkness

I recently joined this really cool website called "Splink". They send some super cool ideas on how to do family devotionals. This week we are going to learn about walking around in darkness vs. walking around in light. Trying to make our way w/ a blindfold on, vs. being able to see where we are going. There are some fun games we will play, and I'm really excited about it.

Not coincidentally, I am dealing w/ some family issues about letting some very dark areas in our lives come into the light. Is it ok to let those things surface if it is going to cause pain to those that are to blame? Have you ever seen those charts at the doctor's office that asks you to rate your pain? 1 being a smiley face 10 being a very uncomfortable crying face? My sisters and I have been walking through our lives at somewhere around a 10 most of our childhood and part of our adult lives. Well, I can say for myself, and I believe they feel the same, we are done letting the darkness live on in our lives any longer. We have gradually shed light in areas of ours lives until there is no more darkness remaining. Why should the innocent bare the pain for the guilty? Someday, my kids will need to make their peace with me, because I am not a perfect mom. And I will take responsibity. And I will do what it takes to make it all better, because I would give my life for my kids.

I am a person that needs truth. I am a person that needs to shed light in darkness. I will not be defined by the darkness of my past, but by the Light. The one True Light, my sweet Jesus. The truth will set us free. It will free me up to have authentic relationships. I'm not interested in any other kind. I care about how this whole process makes others feels, but that doesn't mean I will protect them from it. It isn't about revenge, it is about healing.

Family is such an amazing creation. What a wonderful opportunity to love people that you didn't choose. What a wonderful place to show grace and forgiveness. There is nothing that I can do to change the blood that runs through my veins. But by the grace of God I have been adopted into a royal family that brings me the joy and acceptance I never got from my biological one.

Thanks to my dear dear sisters. They are so much more to me than family. If we were not born in the same family I would choose you. If I could line up all the big and little sisters in the world, I would choose Yvette and Koreen.

I hope that what comes out of all these ashes is a new fire. A fire that will purify us all from the tarnish of our past, and make us like gold. And I hope that in the light that comes from truth, we will shine.