Friday, July 23, 2010

There is Joy in the "Mourning"

My sister and I have this long standing joke between us, that I think is pretty funny. It goes somthing like "Money can't buy you happiness, but it's alot more fun to cry in a Mercedes than a Pinto!" The strange thing is, I have looked back at my life and seen so much more happiness in the financially trying times, than the times of financial security.

Recently we have been going through a time of financial difficulty. And during my quiet time this morning, a lot of positive things came to mind. Things that probably would not have happened without the struggle. I cried out to God a lot more often than usual. I exercised and strengthened my faith and my hope in Him. I was able to put my trust in Him, and watch Him pull me through. I felt His presence. I was offered a P.E. job, that I am sure is His plan for me. And so I accepted, even though my qualifications are sketchy at best! I received an unexpected and perfectly timed gift of charity from a brother and sister in Christ. We cancelled our cable (HALLELUJAH!!!). And I experienced gratitude and thankfulness in what I would normally have taken for granted. For me without the sorrows in life, I really don't even experience the joy.

It's kind of like living in Arizona (stay with me), where everyday you wake up to perfection and sunshine, and you sort of get sick of it. For me, I need the sunshine to disappear for a time. I need the rains to come. The thunders to shake. The lightning to flash and confound! I need the seasons fall, winter, spring, summer, boredom, sadness, contentment, and joy. Dying, death, resurrection, new life.

I have heard it said that "it is easier to trust God in times of happiness and joy", and for me, this just isn't true. When the things of this world sustain me, I forget about God. And when the things of this world fail me, I turn to God to sustain me. I hope for a maturity of faith that is strong in both times of plenty and in times of want. Like Paul. Whenever I realize my faith is wavering or I am in a season of doubt. I know that times of trouble will come. It's a scary thing for me to pray for more faith. But I have to go back to the promise that this life is but a vapor. And that eternal life will outshine our pains and sorrows. I will never shed another tear. (Does that sound boring to anyone else?? That is a whole other post).

Oh that He will change the "joy in the mourning" to the "joy in the morning".